Another Chicken Post

Okay, finally….here is the roasted chicken post.  I meant to post this like six days ago, but I didn’t.  I’m lame.  I’m sorry.  Don’t be mad. 

I gotta say real quick, though, this roasted chicken is better than the other roasted chicken that I made a few weeks ago.  I got this recipe from Martha Stewart’s magazine, and I think we can all agree that girlfriend knows what she’s talkin’ about.  If you’re going to make a chicken, make this one.  I mean, the other one was good, but this one was goooooooooood.  Okay?  So make this chicken.  You’ll be happy that you did, I promise.

Here’s what you need:

We’ve got 1 whole chicken (about 4.5 lbs.), an onion, a few potatoes, butter, olive oil, sea salt (or regular, whatever you have is fine), fresh rosemary, and some cornstarch.  Do not forget the cornstarch, people, because this is what will make the skin of your chicken nice and crispy. 

The first thing to do fill a pot with water and set it to boiling.  Then, peel your potatoes and cut them into big chunks, like this:

We’re going to boil them for just a little bit, about 10 – 12 minutes, to make them a little tender.  Don’t overcook them though, because they’ll cook some more with the chicken later on.  So throw them in the boiling water and ignore them for a little bit, okay?

Once you’ve got the taters boiling, peel and cut your onion.  We’re going for big chunks here, too.

Now put the onions aside, and let’s turn our attention to the chicken.  Gulp.  We have to touch raw meat….that still very much resembles a live animal….minus the head, feet, feathers, eyeballs, and other parts.  But still.  It sorta gives me the creepies.

Remove the packaging, rinse the bird, and pat it dry.

Hello, chicken.  Right now, you are gross, and I don’t want to touch you.  In a few hours, though, my feelings will change.  Don’t worry.

Take your rosemary and gently insert it into the cavity.  Sick.  All kinds of vulgar images are filling my head.

Rosemary insertion has been completed. (Also, I know it looks like my hand and the chicken are covered in stuff, and that is because they are.  Don’t be alarmed and think you’ve forgotten a step; your hands and your chicken will be all grody soon enough. I was just doing everything out of order because I’m weird like that sometimes.)

Now we need to put the yummy stuff on the outside of the chicken to make it flavorful and yummy and crispy.  Take your salt and your cornstarch, and mix it together, like this:

If you want, make a little extra and put it in a baggie and try to sell it to your extreme Christian neighbors just to see the look on their faces. 

Just kidding, don’t do that.  They may start laying hands on you and speaking in tongues.

Back to the chicken.  And again, make sure the bird is pretty dry.  This is way easier with a dry chicken and you’ll get better results.  Take the butter and a cooking brush (or whatever else is handy) and start smearing the butter all over the chicken. 

Keep smearing, friends.

Smear until the chicken is coated in butter.  Then take out that white, powdery substance from before, and start rubbing it into the bird.

There.  Now the chicken is ready to be trussed, which, I’m not gonna lie, I suck at.  I had to tie and re-tie this mofo up like 19 times before it stayed put.  So good luck.  Truss it and set it aside, because it’s time to turn our attention back to the potatoes, which should be just the right amount of “tender” by now.

Drain them, and pour in about a tablespoon of olive oil, followed by a good shake or two, or what the hell, three of salt.

Throw in the onion chunks that you cut earlier, then gently stir it all to coat the veggies in the oil and salt.  Now transfer them to a baking pan, making a space in the center for the chicken.  Oh, and if you like, sprinkle a little more rosemary on top of the potatoes and onions.  I love rosemary and didn’t have any more fresh, so I just added a bit of dry.

Ain’t she purty?  Yes, I think so too.  Now snap out of it and put this whole thing in the oven, uncovered, for about 30 minutes.  Here’s what it’ll look like afterward:

See how it’s starting to get nice and golden?  That’s exactly what it’s supposed to do.  Now we want it to be even more golden, so turn the potatoes and onions so they cook evenly, and stick that baby back in the oven for another 30.

Look at it now:

Oh my yums.  I had to use every ounce of will power and restraint to keep from yanking off a leg and gnawing on it right then and there.  I’m not joking.  At all.

Okay, so while that was cooking, I also decided to make some asparagus and hollandaise sauce to go with it, since it’s so easy and delicious.  Real quick, here’s how you make hollandaise….grab a stick of butter, some lemon juice, and separate a couple of eggs because you’re going to use the yolk only.  On VERY LOW heat, whisk together 2 egg yolks with the juice of 1 lemon until it thickens.  Add in the butter, whisking constantly on low heat until the mixture thickens and looks like this:

This is just a very, very basic hollandaise recipe, and to be honest, I don’t have the exact measurements for the ingredients.  I just eyeball and then taste it to see what’s missing.  You might add a little salt or some Dijon mustard to spice it up, but this is a really versatile sauce that is great on veggies, eggs, rice, and lots of other stuff.

And there is the complete meal.  Super easy and super tasty.  I command you to make it.  The chicken was moist with crispy skin and lots of flavor from the salt, butter, and rosemary.  The potatoes and onions had a nice texture as well, soft on the inside and just a little crispy on the outside.  The asparagus with hollandaise was the perfect accompaniment.  

Enjoy!

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