Baked Reuben Sandwich Loaf Thing

First of all, isn’t “loaf” a weird word?  I kind of don’t like saying it.  It just sounds awkward and weird and…..loafy.  Loaf.  Loaf.  Loaf.  Nope, still don’t like it.

Second of all, this meal isn’t exactly healthy, per se.  But it is good.  And I felt like having some comfort food, dammit.  And I didn’t feel like cooking last night and this is an easy one.  So there.

Third of all, for all you food sticklers out there who get all nitpicky about stuff, this may not qualify exactly as a reuben due to some ingredient variations, but guess what?  I don’t care.  I’m still calling it a reuben sandwich….loaf….thing.  So there.

Okay, how about we just do this thing already?  Here’s what you need:

Clearly, I have taken a few shortcuts here with my choices of corned beef (the cheap kind) and refrigerated white bread dough (the bad-for-you kind).  But….it’s what I had.  Deal with it.  So we’ve got corned beef, bread dough, sauerkraut, provolone cheese because I didn’t have Swiss, Thousand Island dressing, an onion, bell pepper, an egg, and caraway seeds.  Please disregard the turkey.  You don’t need it. It’s only in there because I am a scatterbrain.

Go ahead and preheat your oven to 350, and slice or chop your onion and pepper, whichever makes you happy.  I’m all about choices, friends.  Go ahead and throw these in a skillet with some oil so they can cook and brown up a little.

Now we get to play with squishy dough.  Yay!  Toss some flour down on the countertop before you do this, or you’ll be a very unhappy person.  Now, here’s the cool thing about this refrigerated bread dough.  It’s sort of rolled up, so all you need to do is find the seam and unroll it.  The first time I ever made this, I used frozen dough, let it thaw, then spent about 9 hours trying to roll it out.  It kept retracting, and it was highly annoying.  Then I discovered that this refrigerated stuff was far superior and minimal rolling was required. Here’s the kind I get:

Okay, so open it up and find the seam.

Hello, seam.  Now just carefully unroll it.  If it starts to stick in any places, you can run a knife along the inside as you unroll it.

Once you’ve got it unrolled, use a rolling pin to roll it out and make it a little larger and flatter.  Wow, how many times can I use the word “roll” and its variations in one sentence?  Answer: As many as I want to.

Oh!  I forgot to mention that you need to be checking on your onions and peppers during this time too!  Don’t let them burn just because you’re having so much fun with the dough.  That would just be sad.

Okay, now we’re gonna get a little weird.  Using a sharp knife, make 2-3 inch cuts up and down both sides of the dough.  You want to leave enough space in the center to put all your fillings in, but you want to have long enough strips of dough so you can braid them.  Yes, I said braid them.  But we’ll get to that in a second.  First you gotta make your cuts.

Now let’s fill ‘er up.  Layer your goodies on there, starting with the corned beef.

Now pile on some cheese.  Mmmm…..cheese…….mmmmm.

Add the sauerkraut (make sure it’s drained a little….no soggy sandwiches allowed), onions and peppers, and some Thousand Island.  Oh baby, this is gonna be good.

Now, pretend like this is your old Barbie doll’s hair, and braid it, baby.  I guess you could pretend it’s your old My Little Pony’s tail, but that would just be weird.  Or if you’re boring and dull, you don’t have to pretend anything at all and you can just start folding the dough strips over one another, alternating from side to the other.  Ho. Hum.

Do this until all the strips have been folded over and are covering the yummies inside, then take the egg and separate it.  We’re going to do a quick egg wash on the outside of this to help the caraway seeds stick and to brown it up a little.

Just brush the egg white on the dough, but be gentle.  We don’t want to tear it.  There’s no need to take out your aggression on the poor dough.  Sprinkle on the caraway seeds, and you’re good to go.  And yeah, I made two.  Trent can eat almsot a whole one of these on his own, which really irritated me the first and only time I made just one loaf.

Put the whole shebang into the oven for about 35 minutes.  It’ll look like this when it’s done:

Come. To. Mama.  You guys, this is so good.  The flavors are just really nice together, the cheesy is all hot and melty, and the bread is soft inside and crusty on the outside. Me likey. Me going to eaty.

Oh yeah, and one other cool thing about this is you can change around the filling and make it whatever you want.  I’ve used marinara, mozzarella, pepperoni, and other pizza toppings too.  Or you could do turkey, bacon, pepper jack, and veggies.  Or you could do ham and pineapple.  Or you can just do this.  I don’t care.  Just make it.


1 comment so far

  1. shannon on

    I found this recipe very entertaining. Love the attitude and pictures. Great short cuts. I made one similar to this in the past, the long way. The variations are limitless with this basic recipe. Thanks for making it easier. Great job.

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