St Louis: Part II

So I fascinated you with tales of ghostly adventures at the Lemp Mansion during the first part of our trip.  Are you ready for some more supernatural encounters?  Don’t answer that.  It’s totally rhetorical.  I know you’re foaming at the mouth to know more.

Okay, so after the Lemp tour, I was talking to one of the SI guys (for all you ghost hunting rookies, SI stands for Supernatural Investigations…they’re a local paranormal group), and he said that we should drive up to Alton, Illinois because it’s supposed to be one of the most haunted places in the Midwest.  He specifically mentioned the McPike Mansion, which is known for paranormal activity.

So we headed up to Alton the next morning.  It was only supposed to take 20 minutes to get there, but for us…..well, I’m sure you can guess.  It would have been totally out of character for us to know exactly where we were and reach our destination in a reasonable time.  Being utterly lost once again actually turned out to be a good thing, though, because we discovered the answer to one of life’s greatest mysteries:

We discovered the Fountain of Youth!  Who would’ve thought this legendary pool would be smack in the middle of East St. Louis?  Based on the some the people we saw in the area, certainly not us. 

I’m 30, and Amanda’s 29, so we were kind of excited to come across this fountain. Plus, we were pretty thirsty since we’d been driving around aimlessly in 97 degree heat.  Suffice it to say we were ready for a nice big gulp of magic water.

Um……what the hell?  Where is the age-defying, wrinkle-erasing, sag-eliminating miracle water?  That sign is false advertisement, and I want my pretend money back.


Completely discouraged, we loaded our aging bodies back into the hot car and tried to find the way to Alton.  And finally, we did.  9 hours later.  The SI guy had given me general directions to the house (and by that I mean he told me what street it was on), but I knew it as soon as I saw it.

Now, just a little back story….I called the owners of the McPike Mansion before we left to see if they did tours.  They do, but they only do them once a month, and it wasn’t their time of the month, so to speak.  But they said we were welcome to come and take pictures and wander around outside. 

So that’s what we did.  We went up to the house, snapped a few pictures, peered in the windows, wandered, and marveled at the architectural wonder of the house.  Not really on that last part.  We were actually too busy being nosy.  I did ring the doorbell a couple of times in hopes that someone would answer and let us tour the inside anyway, but no one did, so we continued on with our photography session and window peeping.  In fact, we were so caught up in looking for ghosts that we didn’t notice the door creak open and a man come outside. 

“Can I help you?” he said.

We both jumped a mile.  “Oh, hi!” I said.  “I’m the one that called earlier, and we were just taking pictures because you said it was okay, and I know you aren’t doing any tours today, but….”  I continued to talk because I  have a problem with that; he just stared at me.

“I don’t do tours,” he said.

This puzzled me.

“Ummmm… never?” I asked.

“No. Never.”  He was beginning to look annoyed.

“Well….this is the McPike Mansion, right?”

“NO.”  This was stated very emphatically and with a hefty dose of irritation.

And that was all we needed to hear before we started giggling uncontrollably and ran away.

Four blocks down, the real McPike Mansion stood.

Whoa.  In terms of creepiness, this house can definitely kick that other house’s ass.  There was an energy with this house, and you could feel it. 

And guess what was in the back?

A broken up crypt in the woods!  Eek!  There was a little path that led into the woods, and in this clearing was the crypt.  Let’s go back to the path, though, because there’s something you need to see.

Here’s the path:

And here’s the path again.  This was taken about 1 second after the first pic, so the position has only changed slightly.

WHAT. IS. THAT?  Do you all see this misty-like figure?  Do you?  Someone please explain this to me, because it’s creeping my shit out.  Me and Amanda stared at this photo for a long time and decided that it’s a ghost.  It is written.

We left not long after that.  Not because we were scared or anything, but because we were getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.  And I had to pee.

Alton itself has a lot of stuff to do, supernaturally-speaking. There are a few haunted tours that include some nearby homes, a church, and other locations, and there’s even a torture museum.  That’s right, a torture museum.  Unfortunately, no tours were availalbe and the torture museum was either closed or the person that was supposed to be answering the phone was stuck in the iron maiden or something.   Who knows.  But Alton is on my list of places to go back to, and now I know exactly how to get there.  Yay me!

That pretty much concluded our trip.  Husbands and kids were starting to wonder when we’d be home, and the 8,000 texts demanding an ETA were enough to get us on the road.  A very interesting disgusting game of “Would You Rather…?” ensued, and while a sign for White Castle significantly delayed our journey, we made it home in not-record time, thoroughly grossed out (Amanda, you have a sick, sick mind), but completely satisfied with our quest for the paranormal.

Until next time, would you rather tour the Lemp mansion alone at 2 a.m. while sipping a glass of liquified cockroaches, or attend your next major family function in the nude, singing and dancing the Macarena every 10 minutes until it was time to leave?


1 comment so far

  1. Amanda the Bestie on

    This was the BEST trip. Loved it all….and, not to throw you under the bus, but anyone that KNOWS you realizes your mind is probably more sick than mine. We need to make another trip, bc I know ppl are chompin at the bit to hear our Clydesdale tales……

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