Trent’s Second Favorite Meal

So this happened last night.  And it was highly caloric and fat-laden and completely butterfied.  That’s right, it was butterfied.  There was so much butter in there that we almost didn’t have to chew when we ate it. It just slid down our throats, leaving behind a delicious butter trail.  Just kidding on that last part.  But there really was a lot of butter involved in this.

I generally try not to make stuff that is this unhealthy, but some days I just say “F–k it, I want gravy” and then this happens.  And this was my mindset last night.  Also, my friend Grizzly Adams Eric said he made something like this the other day and he shared his recipe with me, and once that happened, I couldn’t shake the greasy, buttery, crispy, FANTASTIC images that were conjured up.

And so it became a reality.

So this is really 3 recipes….the pan-fried chicken, the decadent mashed potatoes, and the bacon-y and brown sugary green beans.

Here.  We.  Go. 

The chicken ingredients

 

The mashed potatoes ingredients

The green beans ingredients

Note: There are a few ingredients (cream cheese, chives, and bread crumbs) not pictured because Trent wasn’t back from the store yet.  He just loves when I make him stop watching Jersey Shore to go the store for forgotten ingredients for me.  LOVES IT. 

Anyway.

So the first thing you need to do is wash, peel, and cut your potatoes into cubes, then toss them into a big ol’ pot of boiling water.  I’m not going to give you step-by-step instructions on the basics of making mashed potatoes, however, because I trust that most of you already know how to do that.  Also, you’re not idiots*. 

While the potatoes are boiling, prepare your chicken breasts by cutting off all the icky fat and then flattening them with a mallet or a rolling pin or whatever you have handy that will effectively flatten raw chicken breasts.  Then get your breading stuff ready.  Mmmm….breading stuff…..mmmm.

Bread crumb mixture, flattened breasts, and egg…..the holy trinity of fried chicken. 

Meanwhile, throw a few slices of bacon into a skillet and git them to cookin’.  This is for the green beans.

Fry like bacon, you little freshman piggies!  If anyone can name that movie, without googling it (we’re on the honor system here, folks), I’ll give you $1,000,000**.

Now turn your attention back the chicken.  Does this feel to anyone else like a tennis match? You’re looking one way, now another, and back the other way, and on and on.  This is sometimes how I feel when I’m cooking and I’ve got a few dishes going at one time.  It’s madness, I tell you, MADNESS!  Not really.  But these really are the times where my family knows that if they come in the kitchen and ask me ONE MORE DAMN TIME when dinner will be ready, they’re going to get smacked with a spatula.  You should see me on Thanksgiving…actually, you shouldn’t.  No one should ever see that.

Okay…chicken.  Heat some oil and a large, heaping, ridiculous amount of butter in a skillet.  Dip the chicken breasts individually into the egg and milk mixture, then coat them with the bread crumbs mixture.  When the skillet is nice and hot and everything inside has melted into a bubbly mess of golden goodness, lay the breaded chicken breasts in.  The goal is to get the outside nice and crispy and golden brown, and the inside thoroughly cooked.  Sometimes, I struggle with this.  Today I didn’t, and I don’t know why.  The planets must have been aligned. 

So the chicken will cook for a few minutes on each side.  Try to resist picking them up and checking them, because this will RUIN THE WHOLE THING.  Not really….but still, resist.  It’s better that way.

Now the potatoes are probably done, so it’s time to transform them from bland tasting things that grow in dirt into something that can only be described as magical.  The following ingredients are necessary for this: butter, sour cream, cream cheese, chives, chopped garlic, salt, pepper, and milk or buttermilk.

Before....

 

After!

See?  I told you magic would happen.  Once you mix everything together (first pic), put it in a buttered oven-safe dish, dot the top with butter, and sprinkle on some more chives (second pic).  Stick this in a 350 oven for 10 minutes and understand that once you eat these, you’ll never be able to eat regular mashed potatoes again.

And I hope you’ve been monitoring your chicken while everything has been happening…..

Hi! Remember me?

Okay, back to the green beans.  Your bacon was probably done like 9 hours ago, huh?  Oh well.  Remove it from the skillet, drain it on some paper towels, and then chop it up.  Leave all that wonderful grease in the skillet because that’s going to help flavor the green beans.  On medium heat, add green beans (I use frozen, but if you have fresh, use those…may take a lot longer though), brown sugar, a little bit of water, and the chopped up bacon.  Stir it and put a lid over it.

So everything is getting wrapped up now.  Am I forgetting something?  I feel like I am.  I usually am.  But maybe not.  Oh well.  The green beans will cook in about 10 minutes, the potatoes have 10 minutes in the oven, and the chicken is probably just about done or already done, depending on how much chicken you cooked.  If you are a gravy addict like me, you can use the drippings left in the chicken skillet to make a simple gravy.  It’s just the drippings, flour, milk, and salt and pepper, baby.  Whisk it all together until it’s the consistency you like.  Here’s mine.  It was a little lumpy; I was sad.  But it was still good.

Gravy = GOOD

So that’s it, friends.  Pan-fried chicken, garlic and sour cream mashed potatoes, and sweet and salty green beans.  That’s Trent’s second favorite meal.  His first favorite meal is a warm fudge brownie with a scoop and a half of vanilla bean ice cream, drizzled with chocolate syrup and caramel and topped with freshly whipped cream.  Oh!  And a cherry.  Oh wait…that’s my favorite meal.

Enjoy!

*If you really don’t know how to make mashed potatoes, I apologize for calling you an idiot.

**I’m not really going to give you a million bucks for correctly identifying a movie quote.

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7 comments so far

  1. tara on

    Holy cow. That looks good! And I’m only 2 days into the juice fast. Crap.

  2. al on

    Dazed and confused… you can owe me

  3. Liz Craft on

    omg! Come cook here! Forget cooking for your family! I’ll buy them a pizza! Just come here every night(5:30 would b fine)and cook me yummy food,k?

  4. Pippa on

    Where are the leftovers?!?! Send them with the kids tomorrow, would ya? :)

  5. Skeletor on

    Fantastic looking meal. That Eric guy who gave you the recipes must be a culinary genius! Seriously, he deserves a golden star.

  6. dad on

    Couldn’t cook that while I was there, huh ?

  7. Tanya Shortes on

    Tell me about the breadcrumbs mixture, from an oldie but goodie whos always just used flour.


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