Archive for the ‘Drinks’ Tag

Sangria!

So it’s 879 degrees outside.  I have on a t-shirt and cut-offs.  I sweat profusely when I leave my air-conditioned home.  I spent a large portion of the day at the pool alternating between a lounge chair, brief dips in the water, and staring in open-mouthed wonder at some of the people that hit up the Grandview public pool.  And….oh! I almost forgot…we saw a for real ninja on the way to the pool.  I’m not making this up.  This guy was dressed in solid black, lightweight material (ideal for roundhouse kicks, I presume), he had on a black half mask, and he had a sword strapped to his back.  Dude was just walking down the street like, “What?”  I stared.  I stared hard.

Anyway, it felt like a sangria kind of evening. 

It helped that I had the stuff and I needed to clear some space in my fridge anyway.  Plus, sangria is super easy and takes like 2 minutes to make.  Honestly, this stuff should be called sangreeable.  Now isn’t the cute and clever?

All you need is this:

Wine (red or white), ginger ale (or club soda), agave nectar (and/or sugar), a lime, lemon, and an orange.  This is what I’m talking about, people.  This is my happiness.

First pour the wine into a pitcher, letting it cascade down as you inhale the delightful aromas of passionfruit and citrus, with a note of freshly cut grass.  That’s what it says on the bottle anyway. 

And for the love of God, if you have a nice, attractive glass pitcher, use it.  Don’t be lame like me and use a cheap plastic one that you got at Wal-Mart 10 years ago.  Sangreeable deserves a beautiful vessel from which to be poured.

Next, pour in the ginger ale or club soda.

And now the agave and/or sugar.

All that’s left now is the fruit.  I told you guys this was easy.  Cut up your lime, lemon, and orange, halving them but slicing a couple pieces off of each to add to the sangria for decoration.  What?  It needs to be pretty.

Now take all the fruit (with the exception of the pretty, thin slices) and squeeze the juice into the pitcher, like this:

And actually, when you’re squeezing a citrus fruit into anything, you really want to hold it in the palm of your hand and let the juice run through your fingers.  That way, you catch any seeds that would otherwise fall into the drink or food you’re making.  I had a picture of me doing it this way, but my arm and hand looked really weird, so I  just used this one instead.  Okay?

Once you’ve got all the fruit juice squeezed in, give it a good stir, mixing everything around and dissolving any sugar.  Go ahead and take a drink of it to make sure it’s just right, and then maybe even take another swig to double check.  It’s totally up to you.

Float the lemon and lime slices on top, and add any other fruit you have on hand that you think would look pretty.  I had blackberries from the farmers’ market, so in they went.

Now, do you want to know what my idea of a perfect summer night is?  It’s really pretty simple.

You take this:

Plus this:

Plus this:

And it equals this:

And that, my friends, is my definition of relaxation.  You know, I always hated math and equations and things in school, but when it involves adding together sangria, a hammock, and a vampire book, I think I like it. 

Sangria/Sangreeable
1 bottle white or red wine
1 -2 c. ginger ale or club soda
2/3 c. sweetener (I did 1/3 c. agave and 1/3 c. sugar)
1 lime
1 lemon
1 orange
fruit for garnishing

Pour the wine into a pitcher; add the ginger ale and sweetener.  Halve the lime, lemon, and orange, cutting off and setting aside a couple of thin slivers for garnishing.  Squeeze citrus juice into wine mixture; stir thoroughly.  Add fruit slivers and any other fruit for decoration.  Pour into glass.  Chug.  Sip delicately.

Poop Juice

1 apple
1 orange
1/2 banana
1/2 medium sized tomato OR 1/2 cup of tomato sauce
handful of spinach leaves
handful of baby carrots
1/2 cucumber
1/2 bell pepper
2 celery stalks
1/4 cup walnuts
1 tbsp. fresh chopped ginger
Water to thin

Note: You can also add herbs or other fruits and veggies to “improve” the flavor (cilantro, lemon, lime, parsley, etc.).
Another note: This makes about 64 oz. depending on how much water you put in, which is 2 servings (breakfast and lunch!).
Another freaking note: If you can eat this as soon as possible, you’ll get the most nutritional benefits as the live enzymes in the fruit will still be there.

Put these in the blender and blend until liquified.  Don’t be alarmed if there are still small bits of……stuff.  This is normal.

Poop Juice

Poop juice.  Mmmm…doesn’t that sound delicious?  It’s not.  But it is worth sharing in case there are any more strange people out there like my hubs. This delightful concoction is actually Trent’s creation, as is its colorful name.  It originated from his desire to get all his recommended servings of fruit and vegetables without having to actually eat them.  He prefers to liquify them, drink them, and have it over and done with in a matter of minutes.  Sick, huh?

Here’s what he puts in it: oranges, apples, celery, spinach, banana, peppers, walnuts, carrots, tomato, and cucumber.

Then he throws it all in the blender with a little water, and he makes it look like this:

If he spills some in the sink, it looks like this:

Hey….that sort of looks like the contents of my nephew’s diaper!

So this is Poop Juice.  And yes, it will make you poop.  If you’re extremely brave, stupid, weird, constipated, or you have no tastebuds, here’s the recipe:

1 apple
1 orange
1/2 banana
1/2 medium sized tomato OR 1/2 cup of tomato sauce
handful of spinach leaves
handful of baby carrots
1/2 cucumber
1/2 bell pepper
2 celery stalks
1/4 cup walnuts
1 tbsp. fresh chopped ginger
Water to thin
Note: You can also add herbs or other fruits and veggies to “improve” the flavor (cilantro, lemon, lime, parsley, etc.).
Another note: This makes about 64 oz. depending on how much water you put in, which is 2 servings (breakfast and lunch!).
Another freaking note: If you can eat this as soon as possible, you’ll get the most nutritional benefits as the live enzymes in the fruit will still be there.

Put these in the blender and pulse it into liquid oblivion.  Pour it into a glass and prepare yourself for a truly disgusting experience.  Drink it.  Regret it.  Okay, just kidding.  It actually isn’t THAT bad, and it is really, really good for you.  And Trent does have a point…you drink this and you’ve gotten all you need.