Archive for the ‘Food’ Tag

Homemade Vegan Ravioli: Fail (Take Two)

Allow me to preface this post by saying that I recently became the owner of an iPad. While I love it, it’s quite the learning curve for me and I’m not really sure yet what I’m doing. Hence, the previous post was published with a picture and no words. And let’s be honest, I’m a word person. So bear with me while I figure out how to post blogs on the iPad. I feel like someone’s 86 year old grandma who was just introduced to a computer for the first time (i.e., I have no clue how this confounded thing works).

Also, I type really, really slow on this thing. Like Chase slow. It’s annoying. (You know what else is annoying? People who go to Redboxes with no idea of what they want to rent so they stand there and read the plot summary to every friggin movie in the box completely oblivious to the line growing behind them. Oh, and it’s raining. Just wanted to put that out there.)


So I tried to make homemade ravioli tonight. VEGAN homemade ravioli, which means no cheese was involved, which is sort of the whole point of ravioli, no? I mean, in it’s basic form it’s really just another excuse to eat cheese. Alas, I live with The One Who Won’t Eat Cheese Anymore Cause He’s Weird.

So anyhow I found this recipe for vegan cheeseless ravioli (why, God, why?) and decided to just go for it. TWO HOURS later, this is what I had:


And this is what my kitchen looked like:


Here’s what the other side of my kitchen looked like. Oh and look! There’s Trent ordering pizza, cheeseless for him of course:


Anyway, I learned some valuable information from my first venture into ravioli making.

1. Don’t do it on a weeknight; it takes way to long (at least for me it did).
2. Always put cheese in it. I think this is why the ravioli failed; it turned against me because I kept the best part away from it and it got pissed at me. It was probably thinking, “What the hell is this moron doing? She’s ruining me, ruining me I tell you!!!”
3. Make the raviolis thinner and smaller. Big, thick raviolis are just weird and chewy.
4. Drink while making raviolis. By the time you finish, you’ll either be drunk or well on your way to it, and chances are good they’ll turn out edible at the end regardless of their size, thickness, chewiness, and cheeselessness. Well maybe not that last one.
5. Say you have a cramps and make someone else clean up the mess. You did go to all that hard work after all to prepare a nutritious and vegan meal for them.



Homemade Vegan Ravioli: Fail


Ratatouille with Couscous and Brussels Sprouts

I made this for dinner last night.  While I was cooking it, the kids kept asking, “Hey Mom, what’s for dinner? Hey Mom, what’s for dinner?  Hey Mom, what’s for dinner?”  This is very normal.  I get asked that question multiple times every night, and sometimes I answer.  Other times I just ignore them.  But anyway, they ask over and over again because they are genetically wired to not listen to me.  Like most children, they have a recessive don’t-listen-to-mom gene embedded in their DNA.  And like most mothers, I have a I-will-ignore-you-if-you-ask-me-26-times gene in my own DNA.  Besides, if I would’ve said, “Lovemuffins, we’re having ratatouille, couscous, and Brussels sprouts,” they would’ve just given me a blank stare before finally exclaiming, “You’re cooking our movie?!”


Here’s what-all you need:

For the ratatouille:
Olive oil
Garlic, minced
Eggplant, chopped
Zucchini, chopped
Onion, thinly sliced
Tomatoes, chopped
Celery, chopped
Parmesan cheese, grated
(Note: The original recipe that I was using did not use celery, and it did call for bell peppers and mushrooms.  I didn’t have these, but I did have the celery so it got added to the mix.  This seems very versatile, so you can use whatever vegetables you have on hand.)

For the Brussels sprouts:
Brussels sprouts, fresh or frozen
Garlic, minced
Olive oil
Vegetable broth
Salt and pepper

For the couscous:

Once you’ve gathered up all your shiz, preheat the oven to 350 and spray a casserole dish with Pam.  And why is this called Pam anyway?  Who decided to call sprayable oil by a woman’s name?  It’s just weird.  But whatever.  In a large skillet, heat a couple tablespoons of olive oil and saute the garlic and eggplant for about 10 minutes.

While that is cooking, chop the remaining vegetables.  I realize the following picture is unnecessary and anyone reading this knows what chopped vegetables look like, but I delight in the unnecessary.  I also think that freshly chopped vegetables in neat and tidy rows looks really pretty, and it appeals to my aesthetic sensibilities.

After the eggplant mixture is done cooking, spread it in a single layer in the casserole dish, then top with a layer of the Parmesan, then the zucchini, then the cheese, then onion and celery, then cheese, then the tomato, then the cheese.  I really love cheese, fyi.  Oh, and add salt and pepper as you see fit.  Here’s what it’ll look like when you’re done:

Now, what’s wrong with this picture?  Can you see it?  Yes!  There is a crucial ingredient missing on one half of this dish, and that’s because Trent has gone mental and is now a vegan.  Thanksgiving is going to SUCK for him.

Okay, so stick this baby in the oven for about 40 minutes.  While it’s going, turn your attention to the Brussels sprouts.  If you’re using fresh ones, re-slice the core ends, then cut an X into each one.  I have no idea why this needs to be done, but do it.  After all the sprouts have been x’ed, put them aside.  Heat about a tablespoon each of olive oil and butter in a saucepan, then add the garlic and cook until browned.  Toss in the Brussels sprouts, stirring to coat them.  Add 1/2 cup of vegetable broth, salt, and pepper, and put a lid on and cook them for about 12 minutes or until tender.

Okay, so couscous only takes a few minutes to cook, so save this for the end.  I have no picture of the couscous, but all you do is bring water and butter to a boil, then add the couscous, put a lid on it, and remove it from heat.  It’ll be ready in five.  So. Freaking. Easy.

This actually tasted really good, even though it doesn’t look great in the picture.  I don’t think it does, anyway, but I swear it was good.  Two out of three children approved, my dad (who’s with us for Thanksgiving) really liked it, and Trent gave it an affirmative grunt.



Hi y’all.  I did some cooking last night, but you’ll notice that my usual series of pictures documenting the whole process isn’t here.  Why? you ask.  Well, the simple answer is because I didn’t take them.  See how that works?  I don’t take a bunch of pictures, and then you get a post (which is shocking in and of itself) without a bunch of pictures.  Amazing, huh?  I did take one final picture, but the quality is probably a little iffy since I used my aging Blackberry to snap the photo.  Lame, I know, but oh well.  Let’s talk about food.

So a couple weeks ago I was browsing recipes online, and I came across this one.  Hmmm, I thought to myself, that sounds interesting.  So I printed it off, stuck it in my massive, unorganized pile of recipes, and promptly forgot about it.  Then I had a dream the other night where me and this other mom I know went to a Mexican restaurant and I ate an entire vat of salsa and like 4 bags of chips and she was horrified and said her kid can’t play with my kid anymore (isn’t that mean?).  Anyway, when I woke up, I remembered the enchilada recipe.   So here’s what I did.

First, there is no way in hell that I’m going to use instant mashed potato flakes.  Not that there’s anything wrong with them (there is, actually), but I would rather just make my own mashed potatoes from real potatoes that I peel and cut myself.  Just a personal preference.  I also prefer now to make my own tortillas.  If you think this sounds time-consuming and difficult, you’re wrong.  It’s actually very, very easy, though you do have to give the tortilla dough an hour to “rest.”  Or whatever.  Anyway, it’s worth it.  Homemade tortillas taste 9 bajillion times better than store bought.


Ingredients for veggiladas (note: I have altered the recipe above, which I almost always do because I think I have better ideas than everyone else):

For tortillas: masa harina, water, salt
For enchilada filling: potatoes, butter, milk, salt, pepper, chopped onion, carrots, bell pepper, green chilis, olive oil
For topping: red enchilada sauce, grated cheese, green onion and cilantro to garnish if you wish.  I wished.

Okay, step 1:  Turn your oven to 425 and get all your ingredients out. We’re gonna tackle the tortillas first (if you’re making them yourself) and then go to the mashed potatoes (if you’re making them yourself, and if you’re not, then I’m pretty sure you’re committing some sort of mortal sin).

Step 2: Mix the masa harina, water, and salt in a medium sized bowl.  The dough should be moist but not sticky, and it should feel kind of springy.  I use Bob’s Red Mill masa, and it has the instructions on the back.  Pretty sure it’s 2 cups of masa, 1.5 to 2 cups water, and a 1/2 tsp. of salt.  After it’s mixed, cover it with a damp towel and set it aside for an hour.

Step 3: Put potatoes on to boil for the mashed potatoes.

Step 4: While potatoes are cooking, mix the chopped carrots, onions, bell peppers, green chilis with some olive oil (about 1/4 c.) and salt and pepper.  Spread this out in a thin layer on a baking sheet (spray it with Pam first) and then stick it in the oven for 20 – 30 minutes, stirring it once halfway through.

Step 5: Enjoy the small amount of downtime that you have while everything is resting/boiling/roasting by watching Vampire Diaries and thinking to yourself that Elena should really see if Stefan and Damon would be interested in a threesome.

Step 6: Check your potatoes; if they’re done, mash ’em.  Check your veggies in the oven; if they’re done, take ’em out. Turn your oven down to 350.  Grate some cheese and pour your enchilada sauce into a shallow bowl.  Mix your veggies into your mashed potatoes and set them aside.

Step 7:  Tortilla time.  Heat a skillet; while it’s getting hot, take your tortilla dough and roll it into 3-inch balls.  If you have a tortilla press, do whatever its instructions tell you to.  I have no idea what that would involve since I don’t have one, and I rely on a trusty ziploc bag (that I’ve cut apart so I basically have 2 squares of plastic) and a rolling pin.  The trick with tortillas is in the thickness of them.  If they’re too thin, they rip and fall apart.  If they’re too thick, they’re just weird.  Okay, so take your dough ball, stick it in between the ziploc squares, and roll it out to about 1/8 inch.  Slap the tortilla in the hot skillet, and cook on each side for 30 to 60 seconds.  Do this until all the dough is gone.

Step 8: Pour a little of the enchilada sauce in the bottom of a casserole dish.  Take a tortilla, dip it in the enchilada sauce that’s in the shallow bowl, then lay it in the casserole dish.  Fill it with the mashed potato mixture, top with a bit of cheese, then roll that mofo up and make sure it’s seam side down.  Do this with the remaining tortillas, and then pour the rest of the sauce over all them and top with cheese.

Step 9: Put the casserole pan in the oven and bake for 20ish minutes, or until the cheese is melted.  Top with green onions, cilantro, sour cream, whatever you like.

Step 10: Commence stuffing your face.

It’s Been Awhile

An Open Letter to My 8 Subscribers:

I’m sure you have all been sitting at home, wondering each and every day when I was going to post something again.  It’s okay, you can admit it. I know there’s been a deep and aching void in your heart because of my lack of posts recently, and I apologize for being the cause of such pain.  The truth is, friends, I can’t think of a damn thing to say.  I’ve taken some pictures and tossed around some ideas, but nothing seems to click into place.  And if it doesn’t click, in my opinion, then it’s not worth writing about.  I did feel, however, that I needed to post SOMETHING, which is why this letter is happening.

Since I still seem to be unable to come up with anything of substance, here’s a look at a few of the people/places/things (i.e., NOUNS.  What? I’m an English person) that have been keeping me occupied and thus unable to form a coherent post:

We went to the City Market a few weeks ago, and I gotta say, I love that place.  I wish we lived closer so we could go more often.  I doubt I would even buy stuff every time, because most of the appeal for me is the people.  I love watching the people; in fact, I have something of a staring problem.  Thank God for dark sunglasses.

Also, I found this drawing interesting.  It was in sort of the main walkway area of the market:

Clearly, this is the work of a master.

The next two pictures represent essentially what my life has become in recent weeks:

The kids in the first picture have chosen an activity that takes up all my time, and the kid in the second picture has chosen an activity that takes up all my money.  I’m not complaining….I’m just saying.

By the way, there was a post on here yesterday called “Please Stop Just Saying,” and it was about the most annoying pop culture phrases.  “I’m just saying” was included, as was “epic fail,” “I know, right?” and “ridic.”  I thought it was funny, and quite true, even though I am totes guilty of using some of these phrases from time to time.  I would point out though, that the #1 most annoying pop culture phrase for me personally is “It is what it is.”  Ugh.  Please don’t ever say that in my presence.  It’s stupid, and annoying, and redundant, and everyone already knows that it, whatever it may, actually is what it is.

But I digress…

Okay, so finally, I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to come up with vegetarian dishes that won’t taste like shit.  Since we have basically switched over to a meat-free diet (with the exception of a few times, like yesterday when I temporarily lost my mind and somehow found myself at Wendy’s ordering a spicy chicken sandwich), I’ve had to try out a lot of new recipes.  Some of them have been pretty tasty, while others have been EPIC FAILS.  This book has yielded some good ideas:

I’ve made a couple of different dishes from here, including a butternut squash and potato side dish that ranked somewhere between okay and good.  I thought it just needed more cheese, which also cemented my belief that I will never, ever be able to live as a vegan.  Sorry, Trent, but it’s not happening.

Here’s one of the meals from the book:

This would probably be easier to see if it were on a plate, but I didn’t have any clean plates so you’ll have to use your imagination.  It’s pasta (I used rotini) topped with sauteed eggplant, onions, tomatoes, garlic, and I can’t even remember what else.  I put some fresh basil and spinach in there too, and then a sprinkling of grated Parmesan.  I rather enjoyed it.  My kids didn’t, but I don’t care, because I also rather enjoy the dramatic expressions they make and the impassioned cries of “Mom, you’re killing us!” while I force them to eat it.  Dinner and a show, as far as I’m concerned.

And that’s pretty much all I’ve got right now.  I hope to be feeling the writin’ vibe again very soon, and trying out some new recipes to blog about in more detail.  In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this: